


I love You

by Sickly_Bean



Series: Songs of Stark [1]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Memories, Past, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 21:08:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20264542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sickly_Bean/pseuds/Sickly_Bean
Summary: This is super sad, when I heard the song by Billie Eilish I thought of this for some reason... yikes, but basically you're Ton'ys daughter and this is about you seeing memories of him. You'll understand the memories once you read the end, this is my first fic ever, I'm sorry :')





	I love You

**Author's Note:**

> These are memories you have, they're out of order, but had to be for the sake of the lyrics... sorry.

'It's not true'  
You look over and see Tony's body laying there after the war, you quickly run to him.  
'Tell me I've been lied to'  
You see pepper and Peter crying in each others arms as his arch reactor light faded out.  
'Crying isn't like you'  
Tears poured down your face, the ones standing turned to you and let you step through, you fell to your knees in front of his dead body. You reach your hand out to cup his cheek, but you pull back before you touch him, you just stay there kneeling on the ground for a moment.  
'What the hell did I do?'  
You felt the darkness surging through you, you looked around, everything seemed dull, color lost in everything. The only thing really showing color is the crimson red of blood, you closed your eyes and everything was dark.  
'Never been the type to'  
You open your eyes and your standing there with Pepper on the dock, letting Tony's arch reactor float into the lake. You stood there as everyone else stepped away, you felt frozen. Morgan walked up to you to hug You, but you flinch and moved away. Everyone saw and was wide eyed, you thrived on physical contact, the fact that you moved away... something was wrong.  
'Let someone see right through'  
You look at everyone then down at Morgan, you can't handle It, your breathing picked up a bit. You started to walk away from Morgan hesitantly, then it turned into running. You heard your name being called, but it was muffled as the darkness started to take over more. You were deep in the woods somewhere, you fell on the ground and laid there, your sobs wrecked you, you closed your eyes, black again.  
'Maybe won't you take it back'  
Your eyes opened to show you at Tony's house somewhere, he looked younger and so were you. You handed him DNA papers to show that you were his kid, he looked at the papers wide eyed and looked back at you. "Mr.stark" You said "I don't need anything from you, I just wanted to meet you."  
He shook his head and looked at you, "I want you to move in with me." You were taken back by this, you didn't want to impose on his life.  
"It's Okay" you say, but he insists, he was always so stubborn. You blinked and the memory passed.  
'Say you were tryna make me laugh'  
You were in the lab with Tony watching as he built and tested his first suit, he fell a few times. You would giggle at those, but he accidentally put the thrusters on too high of a setting before they were ready. He was quickly blasted into the ceiling, you ran to him to make sure he was okay. When you saw he was fine, you started bursting out in laughter, he huffed, but started to laugh along.  
'And nothing has to change today'  
You smile as you walk through the newly built stark tower, but it was now the avengers tower. You were right beside your dad as you met the new hero's called The Avengers. You smiled as you met them, in that moment you knew, that they were now apart of the family.  
'You didn't mean to say "I love you"'  
You were sitting on the roof of Stark Tower with Tony, a bonfire burning and stars in the sky. You were both sitting on a outside couch, his arm around You, you were in awe from the stars. Tony looked down at you and smiled gently at you  
"You know I love you, right kiddo?" You looked up at Tony as he said those words, you smile gently.  
'I love you and I don't want to'  
"Yeah, I know, I love you too dad" Tony looks at you wide eyed at first, but then smiles gently, pulling you in closer to the hug. That was the first time you ever called him dad and it was terrifying, you were scared. You had already lost family when the attack on Loki happened, what if you lost Tony? You would be heart broken all over again, you didn't know if you could handle it. You would though because Tony's your family, he's your dad and you would do anything for him because you love him and he loves you. You look at the stars again before you close your eyes to sleep. 'Up all night on another red eye'  
You sat up in your bed after another dream about seeing tony die in the hands of Thanos. You can't keep doing this, you walked around the cabin and went to the garage, you saw all of Tony's equipment. You walked up to the glass casing in front of You, his last suit.  
'I wish we never learned to fly'  
You felt tears, but they were also angry, not just sadness, why him? "Why you?" You breathed out "Why did it have to be you?" you felt your hands clench at your side.  
"Why is it always You?! I wish this stupid suit was never made! I wish you never did this!" you were yelling as you sobbed "If you were gonna do this why did you bring me into it?! I wish we never learned to fly! Maybe Then-" you stop yourself and realize what you were about to say. "Maybe then you'd still be alive... you'd still be here" you let out a shaky breath and fell to your knees, you buried your face on your hands and sobbed, everything was black again  
'Maybe we should just try'  
You tried to move on, but it didn't work, every passing day that went on felt harder to live, everyday things were hard now. You sat at the dinner table with Pepper and Morgan, but you wouldn't touch your food. You just sat there, looking off into space with a blank mind, even thinking became too much.  
"(Y/n)?" You look over at Morgan who spoke up "are you okay?"  
'To tell ourselves a good lie'  
You give a weak smile to her "yeah Morgan, I'm fine" pepper and happy look at You, they know you're not okay. "You look sad" Morgan said and you sigh  
"I am Morgan" you say as your gaze went to the table "is it because you miss daddy?"  
'I didn't mean to make you cry'  
You flinch at her words and your head faces down, they watch as your breathing picks up. Tears run down your cheeks, you stand up abruptly and go to your room, you close the door and lay in bed. You don't care if the others can hear You, you cry anyway, you don't know for how long, but you fell asleep, blackness taking over  
'Maybe won't you take it back'  
You sat there at Tony's bedside waiting for him to wake, he had just gotten off the ship from space. You stayed by his side and he woke up, you two talked for a bit  
"You really won't say anything to Steve?" You ask, Tony rolls his eyes "no, I don't want to talk to him or have anything to do with him." You shake your head with a smirk  
"You say that now..." Tony interrupts You "no I mean it" you shrug "okay dad."  
'Say you were tryna make me laugh'  
You sat at the table and watched as Tony looked over the whole time travel idea  
"I knew it" you say and tony looks up at you. "Knew what?" he asks confused "I knew you would help him eventually" you respond. Tony shakes his head  
"No I'm not..." you interrupt him this time "Don't lie to me dad, you know it won't work, I know who you Are, it's in your nature, plus we all know that you want him back." You say and Tony looks down, you hold his hand "Dad, help them, it's okay" tony looks you in the eye and let's out a huff.  
"Alright, fine, but if Steve does something stupid again, you're dealing with my ranting" you laugh.  
"Alright, alright, I'll deal with your rant" you say and sigh, you lay your head on the table and watch him work until you fall asleep.  
'And nothing has to change today'  
You were there with your dad and you all stood by as Bruce snapped, it seemed like nothing had happened. Until you look out the window, birds that weren't there before had appeared, all around people had come back. You look to your dad who let out a shaky breath, he looked at you and smiled, you hugged him.  
'You didn't mean to say "I love you"'  
"It's okay dad, were still here, Morgan's still here" Tony let's out a relieved sigh at your words.  
"We got him back, we got everyone back" Tony says and he looks down at you "were okay sweetheart." You nod your head to confirm his words, he pulled you in closer to the hug.  
"I love you sweetheart" you closed your eyes to embrace the hug, why did the blackness always come back? 'I love you and I don't want to'  
"Dad, no matter what happens here, just know that I love you and out of all the people in the universe, I'm glad you're my dad." Tony went up to you and hugged you  
"I love you too sweetheart" he says and you look out to Thanos, the chase begins.  
'The smile that you gave me'  
You saw tony look at strange, he lifted his index finger, one, what did it mean? Tony turned to look at you. He smiled at You, it was that goofy smile he always gave You, but it was a confirmation that everything was gonna be okay. You nod your head and smile back, you run off to continue the fight, you helped the ladies protect Peter.  
'Even when you felt like dying'  
You turn when the gauntlet was gone and fight until you see the aliens you fight disappear. You look over and see Tony fall down, your heart drops and you're frozen. You start to walk, then run, everyone's around him when you get there. Tears start to stream down your face as they let you through, you fall to your knees and reach out, but you stop. He's gone, there's no point, he'll never hear your words again and you'll never hear his. You pull away and look at him, his crimson red blood the only color you see, why we're you seeing this again? You close your eyes as you cried.  
'We fall apart as it gets dark'  
You open your eyes and all the memories stop, you were sitting down at a bench. The darkness around you, why was it always here? It was always there after every memory and you hate it because it's always there. You want your life back, you want to see color once again in your life. So you do, the only color that really showed was the color of red crimson blood, you'd do anything to see color. You hold your razor blade in your hand and run it down your arm, you felt nothing, you didn't even flinch or hiss in pain. You watched as the blood dripped down your arm and into the grass.  
'I'm in your arms in Central Park'  
You looked up from the grass and remembered having picnics with the team, drawing with Steve, laying in the sun with Natasha, and even learning to fly in Tony's suit here. You the ghost of those memories with the team, Tony looked at you and smiled, tears ran down your cheeks. He stood up and walked over to you, he squatted down and gently held your arms to look at the damage you'd done to yourself.  
'There's nothing you could do or say'  
"Don't do this to yourself, please" he said and you shook your head. "I know you're not real" tony smiled lightly  
"can you prove that?" he asked "yeah, your death" you respond "yeah, but you believe in ghosts" he says and you shrug.  
"You don't" you say and he nods his head "I still don't" he responds with that smile again.  
'I can't escape the way, I love you'  
You start crying again and let your head hang low, you can't do this anymore.  
"Dad I can't- I can't do this anymore, it's so hard without you" you say as you cry. Tony hugs you, but you don't notice because you can't feel it "I was trying to make you laugh" he says.  
"That doesn't exist anymore, anything that involves happiness or the will to live doesn't exist" you say shakily. Tony cups your face "I love you so much and I'm proud of you, please don't do this" tony pleads. You try to hold his hand, but you only touch your own cheek, you close your eyes and let your hand drop.  
"You're not here, you're not real" you say and sigh, you're tears have subsided, you feel numb and look at the sky.  
"The darkness... that's why you're so familiar" you say as you realize the Black sky has always been there.  
"Dad, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be here anymore, I've lost so many people already and it hurts... I don't want to feel pain anymore" You let out a breath and let your arms bleed out as you look to the night sky, the darkness and cold surrounding you as you breathe your last breath you say "dad... I really...  
'I don't want to, but I love you'"

**Author's Note:**

> yikes, I'm sorry, that ending was a lot sadder than I intended, I was feeling pretty blue when I first wrote this because even I have my dark days, please leave comments and if you ever need to talk to someone about anything I'm here, I love you all!!! :)


End file.
